Cold God Press

Two of Kevin’s books are now available on the Nook. Look, click this image, you will see both Let’s All Find Awesome Jobs and Jennifer Love Hewitt Times Infinity listed there on the Barnes & Noble site. 

You can download them and read them. That’s all. I would have posted this sooner but Kevin said I had to incorporate a reference to a song? by Fred Durst? About “Nookie”? I refuse. He is old and I had to go to Youtube to even find out what song he was talking about. But anyways, no, I’m not doing that. OK pressing post because I just heard the toilet flush. He was in there for over an hour. I could hear his iPad making noises through the wall. 

3PDFs

There are now PDF versions of Let’s All Find Awesome Jobs, The Location Scout, and Touch Anything Except Me for sale in the store. I don’t know. We’ll see. There was a whole debate about this. Kevin has Opinions, which he’ll probably unpack on his own site. Anyways there was a bunch of shouting, oaths were sworn, we need to buy a new Ikea bookshelf, and this is the result.

I mean I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

One of the people at the Harvard Square post office noted the logo on our outgoing packages and suggested we change our name from “Cold God Press” to “Hot Off the God Press”. I actually kind of love it?

Some day I will write down the story of how I got in a screaming match about semantics with someone at the Central Square post office and can now never go back.

Yo you cop that new rounded-corners jawn

God bless the goddamn internet.

The Kindle version of Let’s All Find Awesome Jobs is now a thing that exists on the Amazon.com website.

Next I’m supposed to figure out how to create an EPUB version for the Apple iPad. My argument was that people who have money to buy iPads probably aren’t the target demographic for this book. Kevin accused me of being “racist.” I explained that I would need him to purchase an iPad for the office so that I could properly test the book out. He said he would do just that, but he’s been staring at his computer for 30 minutes now and he’s got that look on his face that he gets when he doesn’t understand the new Achewood.

—D

Working on the new version of kevinfanning.com. It’s weird how certain activities balance “stressful/annoying” with “super boring.”

After this comes the Kindle version of LAFAJ. And then PDF versions of older books that have fallen out of print. And then I have to figure out what an EPUB is, and whether his books need to be in that format as well. This is necessary for people with iPads, apparently. Meanwhile we’re out of coffee. Kevin said if I run out and buy some he’ll include my reimbursement in my “next paycheck”. I would have done it, too, if the air quotes hadn’t tipped me off.

The Jennifer Love Hewitt Times Infinity business card. Very controversial item. We’ve been getting a lot of emails about it.*

Kevin’s idea was that we (I) would insert them into copies of Let’s All Find Awesome Jobs. Figure: maybe if they like the writing they’ll be interested in reading other things he’s written, even if that other stuff is less traditionally “useful.” Or figure: once he’s helped people find awesome jobs they’ll likely want to spend their hard-earned on a collection of folktales starring the lady from the celebrity news blogs.

As a cost-saving measure Kevin felt it made sense to only insert these cards into copies of LAFAJ for people who hadn’t already purchased JLHXI. This would of course involve a certain amount of spreadsheet-maintaining and cross-checking.

What Kevin failed to consider was that it would be easier for me to just include one in every copy, no matter what.

There. An update to a website no one reads, answering a question no one asked. I have a master’s degree, you know.

*We have been getting no emails about it.

—D

Coño, mira.